Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
it's amazing! waking up this morning, i could hardly believe that today's my first birthday as a recovering alcoholic. what a trip!!
so much has happened,
- reconnected to God
- relocated to Taiwan to teach
- got a job
- got an apartment
- got a scooter
- met the most incredible person (in the romantic sense)
- settled most of my debts
- reconnected with those i lost along the way
- quit smoking
- forgave and was forgiven
- found peace
Winding your way down on Baker Street
Light in your head and dead on your feet
Well another crazy day, you’ll drink the night away
And forget about everything.
This city desert makes you feel so cold
It’s got so many people but it’s got no soul
And it’s taken you so long to find out you were wrong
When you thought it held everything.
You used to think that it was so easy,
You used to say that it was so easy
But you’re tryin’, you’re tryin’ now.
Another year and then you’d be happy
Just one more year and then you’d be happy
But you’re cryin’, you’re cryin’ now.
Way down the street there’s a light in his place
He opens the door, he’s got that look on his face
And he asks you where you’ve been, you tell him who you’ve seen
And you talk about anything.
He’s got this dream about buyin’ some land
He’s gonna give up the booze and the one night stands
And then he’ll settle down, in some quiet little town
And forget about everything.
But you know he’ll always keep movin’
You know he’s never gonna stop movin’
Cause he’s rollin’, he’s the rollin’ stone.
And when you wake up it’s a new morning
The sun is shining, it’s a new morning
But you’re going, you’re going home.
i had just returned from my trip to the UK and many of my friends were in the region for the holidays - as were several of my cousins. i'd orchestrated an impromptu beach-braai (bbq) near my house for that afternoon - seeing as how everybody had other plans for New Year's Eve. the turn-out was quite astounding! (i had a pretty solid reputation for throwing the best parties...)
i started drinking in the early afternoon - which was not a strange thing for anybody to do, really. we were having so much fun, catching up and reminiscing, joking and making plans, making a huge fire and meeting new friends (everybody brought somebody, of course). the party was light-hearted and cheerful. summer evenings can be endless...
i vaguely recall actually eating something too!
i do not, however, recall leaving the beach. or going to the nightclub in Mossel Bay. or being the life of the party. or deciding that it was time to go home. or driving home...
i do recall a soft "thud" as i swerved at our village's only traffic light. no-one was hurt (thank God!!) but the other car had a serious dent.
i do recall the police arriving.
i do recall the Breathalyzer test, though not the score.
i do recall being taken for blood tests in the back of a police van.
i vividly recall crying myself to sleep in a holding cell.
tomorrow, one year ago, i turned my life over to God and admitted that i was an alcoholic.
here's a cool rendition (by The Real Tuesday Weld) of the song that's been looping in my head all day:
Saturday, December 27, 2008
it seems all Americans are created equal, some just more equal than others. (does their constitution end in "sich heil"? especially when read by the Governator...)
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
i should be running to class - but this is just to good!!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
who had no need of your forevers
but was at peace with merely
then would i drink the
love of light and
ne'er be afraid of all
of beauty's eventual end
but lo! i am a living man
who needs but hear a whisper...
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
led-style!above, the view of my balcony from the parking lot
below, the view of my building from our local 7-11
mine is the blueish glow, top-right ;0)
i probably shouldn't have shelled out the heaps of dosh for the blinkyness - but it sure is pretty!
SA slang info from Wikipedia:
pozzy - house or home; place where one lives or hangs out.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must; but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow;
You might succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
- by anonymous
from Tudor-Virgil Constantin's blog
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Mother, reading a newspaper: You better watch your mouth today, little boy!
Little boy: But mommy, he keeps banging his head on the pole!
Mother, watching the man: What the fuck?
Overheard by: It looked painful.
The proposed declaration was initiated by France, which currently holds the rotating EU presidency, and has been signed by all the countries of the European Union.
The draft declaration will be presented to the UN General Assembly on Wednesday, the sixtieth anniversary of the UN Declaration of Human Rights. It is the first time the Assembly will deal with gay and lesbian rights.
According to Human Rights activist Peter Tatchell, only three African countries - Gabon, Cape Verde and Guinea-Bissau - have signed on to the document.
South Africa, which boasts the most gay-friendly legislation on the continent, has reportedly not yet agreed to support the initiative.
A recent Human Sciences Research Council survey claims that 80% of South Africans believe that homosexuality is wrong.
The US and Australia are among the democratic nations that have declined to support the declaration, says Tatchell. The Vatican and the Organisation of Islamic States are, unsurprisingly, vocally opposed to the initiative.
Homosexuality is illegal in 86 countries around the world. Lesbians and gays face the death penalty in at least seven nations.
Monday, December 08, 2008
where i took the subway to zouying station,
where i took the High Speed Rail (up to 300km/h) to taichung,
where i got on the slow train to Dajia,
where i picked up the deliciousness from SA! Mom sent me some droë wors, coffee cookies, rusks, scarves, Black Cat peanut snacks, Cadbury's, my SpringLeap T-shirts - and even a copy of DeKat!! color me crawling on the floor with laughter when i noticed the fruit-cake and the designer tissues *lol* awesome!!!
Thursday, December 04, 2008
the risperdal and a good night's sleep - plus the resolution to hit the road out of town after school today - has me feeling a whole lot better about myself and life in general :0)
also, thanks to Rod for the comments - both of them. no comment is a bad comment.
and thanks to Immi for all the tips and tricks on her blog! i live better every day.
it's thursday night and i've just returned home from school. my last class took forever and it feels like i'm not getting anywhere with my students. the teenagers are getting the better of me... i've run out of ideas on how to get them talking. it's a "conversation class" - which means we're supposed to converse for 90 minutes. (okay, two sessions of 40 minutes with a ten minute break in the middle.) It's a miracle if i get one of them to say more than three sentences. i've tried sports, rock, hip hop, online gaming, pets, family, fashion, parties, school, poetry, visual arts, movies - everything. harry potter worked for a while, but we've gone through all the books now...
i know they think swearing is funny - but i'm not comfortable with the idea of exchanging insults and cusses with 14 year olds.
fuck i feel useless. i just want to sleep. i honestly don't feel like doing anything.
yup, i know - these are all little red flags saying auntie debra is visiting. time to take the risperdal again.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
probably not a safe song to play to your dear old gran... but the power of this performance threw me halfway across the planet!
i have to thank Rod from kickin' tina for loading this as today's "sound choice". i'm not sure why i'm crying - but it feels damn good!